At a young age, I was molested. I did not realize this until this past year. I had blocked it out. So, I started turning to food just to, I guess try to numb the pain. I didn’t know at that age what that was. Which led to me being obese at a young age. Which then led to ridicule by friends, by strangers, and sometimes by my family. That led me to start to win the approval of other people. I started becoming a people pleaser. I figured that if they didn’t like me because of my looks that maybe I could win them over by my personality. That was through elementary school, middle school, high school pretty much who I became.
I was trying to fix the hurts that were in my life by just numbing them. It wasn’t working. I knew something was wrong because I was ready to kill myself. So, I came to Women at the Well in February of 2016. When I came I was so broken and so full of shame and guilt for all of the people I had hurt and all of the horrible things that I have done. I remember the second I walked in the door they loved me. I did not understand that. How could anybody love me? It was after I had been here for a while that I started seeing they were showing me the Godly love that I had always had but I never understood. I finally realized that all of those things that I was trying to fill my life with. That void in my life was God.
He is just showing me so many things. I am so thankful that he has brought me out of such a deep dark pit. He’s changed everything. I am so thankful for just being able to know that I am a daughter of the King and that He loves me no matter what. I don’t have to qualify anything that I do. He loves me regardless.
Isaiah 40:31 Those that hope in the Lord shall renew their strength. They will mount up on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint.