"I would stab myself with a sewing needle. Or any kind of needle. Just to feel that pain. To know, you're still here. You're still human. You're still alive in some way. To make that pain, just show what I felt on the inside....
That night I was gang raped by five men. I was so ashamed and so embarrassed. I felt like it was my fault. I blamed myself and I didn’t want to tell anyone.
"I was taking ecstasy, cocaine, pain killers or whatever it took just to feel numb."
I remember of walking on a bridge in New York City, hearing an evil presence. As I looked over the edge of the bridge I heard a voice say, “Jump. It’ll be all over.”
"He did cross the line, and I became a victim of what we now know as date rape. Thirty years ago that's really not what it was called. Since I did go into the bedroom with the guy, I blamed myself for many years..."
I made a choice. That day a healing process started in my life. Now I can look back and say, “Wow.
By the time I was thirty I had experienced five failed marriages. I felt like I could do nothing right;
Then they gang raped me. I came close to dying that night.
"I would take off and stay gone for days."
"They kept whispering back and forth and acting weird. They were all laughing."