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That night I was gang raped by five men. I was so ashamed and so embarrassed. I felt like it was my fault. I blamed myself and I didn’t want to tell anyone.
I didn’t realize that I was chosen until recently, really. When I really learned what it meant to be adopted into God’s family I made the connection of how much my parents really chose me and wanted me.
I realized it was me. I was the one that had the problem. That was the first step in getting the help that I needed.
By the time I was nineteen, I was extremely bitter, angry, volatile … violent. I had become a kleptomaniac I was addicted to stealing everything around me. I was heavily on drugs and had really pushed everybody out of ...
When my dad was struggling for his life, he went out into the yard to put himself out and the neighbors came to help extinguish the fire. Dad wanted to pray. Dad wanted to pray for my brother.
From the very beginning my real dad told me he loved me, but left. He may have loved me, but I don’t know. Then a step dad came in, and said he loved me and my mom, but would also tell me to not tell. It started with fondling...
Where I’d prayed for everyone else for so long... I had ignored the fact that I did need God.
"My grandfather was very perverted. He did things and said things only to me, and it was kept a secret."
You can forgive me of the drinking and the drugs. You can forgive me of the sexual sins that ran deep. But you can’t forgive me for that. That was unforgivable to me.
I didn’t know if God loved me. I was just so desperate. I started to try to find my identity in relationships with guys.